How You Can Really Help a Friend Who’s Been Laid Off
Our go-to, well-meaning replies to layoff news is usually something along the lines of “Please let me know how I can help,” but how many times have you said that to someone and not heard back from them again? When you’re going through a layoff, it can be hard to know what you need–and even harder to ask for it. But there are still a ton of things you can do to offer some relevant resources and encouragement to a friend who’s been laid off, even if you’re not an expert.
Proactively offer your professional network
Whether we like it or not, networking and referrals are two of the most impactful tools a job-seeker can take advantage of. With hundreds of applications coming in for every open job, the best way for your friend to be noticed is talking to someone inside the company; and even if you and your friend have the same friend group, you probably still know some people they don’t.
Instead of waiting for your friend to ask for a specific referral, you can proactively share a list of contacts with them in a few different ways:
Easiest, with some drawbacks:Encourage them to stalk your LinkedIn connections. By having your friend go to your LinkedIn profile and look through the people you know, it can offer a low-pressure way for them to explore what’s out there and ask you for only the most relevant connections (versus you trying to guess who they’d like to speak to). One limitation here: LinkedIn seems to set a limit on the number of profiles a free account can look at, so depending on what kind of profile your friend has, they may not be able to actually look at everyone you know.Medium difficulty, with some considerations:Share a full .csv file of all your LinkedIn connections. LinkedIn gives you the ability to export your entire connection list and show you everyone you’re connected with, where they work, and what their job title is. It’ll take a little bit to generate, but once you have it the list will be exhaustive and you’ll be able to avoid that pesky profile limit.Hardest, with best payoff (and my personal favorite):Manually write a list of the companies where you know someone useful. This will require you to either wrack your brain or comb through each one of your LinkedIn connections (or both), but it allows you to remove any of the random people you happen to have connected with years ago who you don’t really speak with anymore. I could conceivably message my undergrad English professor and ask for a connection, but my next door neighbor who I see every day is probably a bit more likely to respond and actually want to help. It requires a bit more work up front, but once it’s done you know that your final list will be truly representative of the people you can connect.
Write a recommendation for their LinkedIn profile or personal website
Writing a recommendation for someone accomplishes two things: It adds online credibility to your friend being awesome, and it makes them feel really nice. I often like to write a recommendation and send it as a surprise (because I love surprises), but you can also ask your friend in advance what skills or qualities they want you to amplify. For example, if your friend already has a few recommendations that speak to how organized they are, they might want you to write one focused on something else to help round out their skillset. Or they might not care at all and just be excited that you’re willing to write a few sentences about why they’re great. Either way, at the end of the day you’re just trying to help your friend’s online presence look better–so as long as your recommendation is complimentary and relevant, it will go a long way.
Offer some emotional support
Being laid off can be emotional, so let your friend’s feelings lead and be there for them along the way. Whether they need an optimistic pep talk or to vent about their old boss, just being around to support them can be meaningful.
We all know that feeling of just wanting to vent and finding ourselves met with advice or feedback we didn’t want. If you aren’t sure what your friend needs to hear after their layoff, ask them directly. (I often like to ask my friends straight up if they want advice or to just complain for a little bit; if they want advice, I’ll give it, and if they just want to complain, I’ll save my advice for another time.) One thing I often like to remind people of is that layoffs are rarely about the actual individuals and usually about the jobs or “seats” on the team. A layoff has nothing to do with someone’s actual value.
Keep an eye on your feed and surface relevant job postings (when they’re ready)
LinkedIn is an obvious source for finding job listings, but don’t discount what you see on Instagram or Twitter, or what you hear through word of mouth. There are so many random spots online where job leads can pop up, and odds are you’ll run into job opportunities that your friend won’t. The key word here is relevant–make sure you have a sense of what kind of jobs your friend is interested in next, and don’t send tons of random jobs their way. When I see a job posting that could be a match, I often send it in a text or email as soon as I see them, but you and your friend can also discuss how they want to receive job leads, or if they even want them in the first place.
But if your friend is overwhelmed or still upset, it’s probably not the time to send job listings. The prospect of looking for a new job is part of what makes getting laid off stressful, so there’s no need to immediately start sending job descriptions if your friend isn’t ready yet. There will be time to look at job postings after they’re feeling more like themselves. In this situation, stay with the previous step (offering some emotional support) instead.
Schedule a recurring check-in to keep in touch
Like with most things, there’s usually a big outpouring of support right at the beginning, and then offers start to peter out as time goes on. To offer more ongoing support, consider scheduling a monthly or bi-weekly “coffee chat”-style meeting to keep in touch. It doesn’t have to be formal (and, frankly, probably shouldn’t be), but rather serve the purpose of keeping in touch and making sure you’re clued in as your friend’s needs change over time. In the beginning they might want connections, but later on they might want to debrief on interviews, brainstorm on next steps, or need help deciding on a career change.
If you’re also job searching or know a few more people on the hunt, consider putting together a regular check-in for support and accountability. It can be energizing (and comforting) to talk with others who are going through the same job hunt. Again, it doesn’t have to be formal, but just time to be together and support one another.
