Feb

7

This year, don’t say it with flowers, say it with bile

Filed Under Funny 

 

As a public service to all those who feel the same way about the looming "unimaginative, consumerist-oriented and entirely arbitrary, manipulative and shallow interpretation of romance day", here is a site that might provide just what you need to get through it. You have a week to select the right message…

Yes, it’s that special time of year when chocolate manufacturers and greetings card companies encourage you to demonstrate the extent of your fondness in cold, hard, cash (or the satin-covered equivalent) on February 14th.

Fuck that.

Antivalentine_card_1 

Or as a friend once said: Valentine’s Day is to love as tap water is to tequila.

Forewarned, forearmed. Good luck.

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Comments

8 Responses to “This year, don’t say it with flowers, say it with bile”

  1. Barry Dorrans on February 7th, 2006 11:13 am

    OK, can we focus on the slutty lingerie aspect please…

  2. Small Values of Cool on February 7th, 2006 14:23 pm

    I Love You Blah Blah Blah

    “Nothing says “I Love You” quite like saturated fat and slutty underwear.” Be My Anti Valentine. Brilliant. But - who to send it to? Michael, taking advantage of his sobriety…

  3. Rob Halper on February 9th, 2006 21:11 pm

    Well, so much for the “dewey-eyed” romantic theory. Alright, already. We believe you!! But how about slutty fat and saturated lingerie?!

  4. Perry de Havilland on February 14th, 2006 14:36 pm

    I always associate Valentine’s day with massacres.

  5. Samizdata.net on February 14th, 2006 14:45 pm

    Happy Anti-Valentine from Adriana

    Nothing says “I love you” quite like saturated fat and slutty lingerie. And as St. Valentine’s day is typically associated with dreamy soft focus pictures……

  6. Alan K. Henderson on February 15th, 2006 6:46 am

    I hate tequila.

  7. Lusiphur on February 15th, 2006 18:49 pm

    This is scarily apropos of conversations I was having with female acquaintances last night. More and more I think people are coming to the realisation that if you can only manage to make an effort on one day of the year (and in a cliched fashion at that) then your relationship is probably in a little trouble ..

    Also, I agree with a previous commenter .. more about slutty lingerie plskthx :)

  8. Andrew Spark on March 13th, 2006 9:26 am

    Of course a study by Rutgers University confirms that flowers do in fact make people happier, even men!

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